I never wanted to follow God, I mean, seriously, who really wants all that challenge in their life not to mention the entire anti God era we live in. All you have to do is read a few passages in the Bible to realise that following the path of God means taking responsibility and changing one's life. Oh the pain of it all. No wonder I ran away so many times. I just wanted an easy life, one where I could wander about from here to there and be free of responsibility and free from anything that might mean commitment or discipline. I think I was actually allergic to the word discipline, the mention of it used to get me all worked up. I would have so many excuses as to why I didn't need discipline in my life.
So, why now, do I not only follow God but actually serve him with the greatest of joy and gladness in my heart? I mean, if you don't know me, let me tell you that, I can be feisty and strong willed so I didn't go into this relationship with God passively with eyes shut and all submissive. No way, that is not me. God had a battle on his hands with me and at times I threw up my fist to him, there were times I went kicking and screaming, so many times I blamed him for the things that went wrong in my life.
Why did I bother to continue to seek? Well, it's because I was in search of Love, I had searched the world over for happiness and contentment. Nothing and no-one could fill the void and hole I felt in my heart until I allowed God in. God is real and he seeks real relationship with us and do you know where I found him? In my heart, after searching wholeheartedly there I found him.
"You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart". Jeremiah
Track 3 called "When I Found Love" reflects on the time in my life when I struggled with feeling unloved, my search for Love-and my absolute Joy when I found love, that feeling of being cared about so much and so overwhelmingly loved by God.